Identifying Feelings and behaviors

Welcome to identifying feelings. This can be tricky for most people, throw in cognitive delays, lack of communication, comprehension levels, meds, and seizures one may have no idea what feelings are taking place.  Feelings are especially important to recognize because they bring understanding and awareness of behaviors. Feelings when identified can bring great relief. They are a doorway inward that connects us to our authentic and wounded selves. Feelings are a great way of understanding how and where we are operating while showing us where we need to shift. Naming feelings is helpful for self-recognition, self-awareness, and validation. Some of us were brought up to be aware of others’ feelings more than our own which may breed resentment, unhealthy patterns, and attachments. We usually have the basics down such as ANGRY(MAD), SAD, FRUSTRATED, HURT, and HAPPY, however, it may be helpful to investigate a broader range for more accurate identification.   

Here is a list of some feelings:
HAPPY-Thankful, trusting, comfortable, confident, content, excited, relaxed, relieved, elated, satisfied, enthusiastic, calm, comfortable, optimistic, joyful.
ENERGIZED - inspired, creative, healthy, renewed, vibrant, motivated, invigorated, refreshed.
STRONG - sure, certain, unique, dynamic, tenacious, hardy, empowered, ambitious, bold, determined.
EMBARRASSED - shy, isolated, self-conscious, lonely, inferior, guilty, ashamed, repugnant, pathetic, confused indecisive,
HURT - scared, jealous, betrayed, isolated, shocked, deprived, victimized, aggrieved, tormented, abandoned.
ANXIOUS - afraid, stressed, vulnerable, confused, bewildered, skeptical, worried, cautious, nervous.
SAD - crushed, upset, sorrowful, weepy, desperate, disappointed, mournful, depressed, paralyzed, pessimistic, tearful, dismayed, disillusioned.
ANGRY - grumpy, frustrated, annoyed, defensive, spiteful, impatient, disgusted, offended, irritated, agitated, resentful, mad, furious, critical, raging, outraged, furious. 

Learning to identify a feeling is the first step. The second step is connecting and naming the feeling.  The next step is becoming aware of the feeling in the body and where it is residing. This will help to identify when we are reacting from past wounds, old beliefs, trauma, or relational values (values adults around us as children imposed upon us). We go inward (or ask the other person) and question those old beliefs. When we ask questions such as: What am I feeling (What are you feeling)? Where am I feeling this in my body (Where are you feeling this in your body)? What am I making this mean about me (What are you making this mean about you)? What am I believing is true about me (What are you believing is true about you)? What am I believing is true about the other person (What are you believing is true about the other person)? How am I showing up when I am feeling activated (How are you showing up when you feel activated)? 
Of course, you will want to modify the questions so they are more tailored to the age, cognitive level, or comprehension level. Also, it is important to mirror back to yourself or the other person what they are feeling (I can see you are feeling _____, I can see you are feeling___ in your stomach, I can see you believe this is true about you, I can see that you believe this is true about the other person, I can see you are showing up (a certain way) when you feel activated) when repeated back, a recognition of awareness may become apparent so it will be easier to dismantle the false belief (story). 

Our mind becomes open to more possibilities and perspectives. This will help us to navigate through unhealthy patterns/behaviors to shift them. The behaviors will begin to shift more organically when we bring the person or ourselves back into alignment.  Even if we have a nonverbal child with little awareness, we can show them pictures of feelings and help them to identify what they are experiencing to give them their place in the world. Mirroring back to them what they are feeling gives them validation and builds self-respect and love. We are teaching our loved ones with disabilities to become internally independent even if it’s not possible to be externally independent. This gives us true freedom and sovereignty. 
This practice will take some time and patience however, this is how to build a healthy foundation. I learned this practice from Katherine. Woodward Thomas. This has been instrumental in shifting my son's behaviors ( Logan 26) yelling, hitting, kicking our vehicles, punching holes in the walls, and breaking windows. Now when he is feeling angry, Logan will come to me and say ANGRY. I repeat I can see you are feeling ANGRY. I do not try and fix it. I am giving him the respect and honor of listening and holding space for him so he can work through it on his own (of course with guidance). The toxic behaviors have decreased by 90%. We do still deal with behaviors however they are easily manageable.