ADDRESSING OUR NEEDS AND FEELINGS AS PARENTS.

Raising a child with disabilities is not easy, throw in the rest of the kids and it may feel down right impossible to manage and keep one's sanity. As parents, we are doing our best by showing up for everyone's needs which may feel overwhelming and dreadful when you are suffering through the process yourself. There is usually guilt on a deeper level ( maybe I caused this in some way, maybe I didn't do enough, maybe I should have listened to my inner knowing, I should have done more ). We blame ourselves or feel like we need to go above and beyond for this child by giving them everything so we might feel more at peace eradicating the guilt in some form. We stuff our feelings aside and tell ourselves that we are strong and we have this. We are so busy,especially mothers taking care of everyone else's needs that our needs go to the back of the line. By the time we get to the back of the line, there's not much time or energy left for us. This was so painful for me as I found myself myself resentful, angry and deeply hurt trying to make sense of this journey. I was so grateful for my son and at the same time so angry with God. The suffering I witnessed watching him struggle tore me apart. I just worked harder to alleviate his pain and suffering which helped mine because I became so busy that I didn't have time to feel my own stuff or meet my own needs. This became an addiction.

What I didn't know back at the beginning is that I would have to deal with everything I pushed down or away. There is NO ESCAPING the feelings, emotions, traumas. Everything must be dealt with ( if not now, later). Later was my choice. That has been so challenging and way more work than I had anticipated; However, I can now share the tools and lessons I have learned to help others. We must make time to process our feelings, emotions and experiences while making our needs just as important as everyone else. If we don't do this, there will be more health issues in the future awaiting our attention. This is not an easy path but one that is well worth the journey.

So much Love and Blessings

Wendy