Self-Soothing
I am going to share some techniques that can be utilized to help a child or person with disabilities when going through a difficult experience. There may be some circumstances that make it impossible for the child to do by themselves, in which case you can do the techniques on yourself right next to them. The Pull technique is done on the person. It important to put your full focus and attention on the child/person if you are doing the technique on yourself for them. The intention is what matters most, results work the same.
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Energy Release Exercise
This is a very helpful technique in releasing high amounts of stress, tensions, anger, and frustration. It literally allows the energy to leave the body so that the body can be in a relaxed and calm state. So to begin, you want to imagine that you are clenching all of that anger and frustration in your hands. You are going to take them from your side, bring them up over your head, and then you will exhale whilst opening your palms and quickly bringing them down to the ground, "throwing it into the ground", while making a "SHHHH" sound releasing the anger and built up frustration. You will repeat this about four times and on the last one you will want to slowly bring your hands down as opposed to quickly throwing them down while still making the "shhhh" sound.
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The Pull technique
This is very powerful to help someone come out of a trauma/ hysterical/rage/tantrum state. This technique is used to bring the person back into their body and out of the fear. This can help lessen the reaction to an event that may be retriggering the child. If the person is in a tantrum or rage, you will want to be extremely calm and detached approaching with brushing your hands on theirs first then coming down the arms. It is important to do deep breathing and grounding yourself before you attempt this on someone who is raging, Otherwise, they will not let you approach them. This has been extremely beneficial for us.
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You face the person putting your hands on the top of their shoulders. You squeeze a tiny bit and begin to go all the way down their arms slowly while pulling slightly down and off the hands. You will do this about 4-6 times. Then You start at the waist. Hands on the waist as you face the person and slightly gripping them pulling down the legs to the feet. You repeat this 4-6 times. You have the person sit and place their palms face up on their thighs. You open your hands so you can brush your hands over theirs (starting with the heal of your open palm at the top of their wrist pressing down a bit until you reach the end of their fingertips with yours) 4-6 times. If you are doing this on someone who can keep their head straight and moving their eyes from one side to the other and back, you will have them do this slowly while performing each segment.
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EFT (emotional freedom technique) Tapping
This is a powerful holistic healing technique that helps to calm, relax, release, and rebalance the mental, physical, and emotional states. You can use words or phrases as you tap on each point. If the person is struggling or having a difficult time, you may start with what is causing you trouble: Such as, “I am feeling angry”, “I am feeling hurt”, “I am confused etc.”. You will do 2 rounds of the “negative” feelings the first time, then go through 4 rounds with the positive. The positive replacement might be: “I am feeling calm”, “I am feeling well”, “I am feeling clear (clarity)”. You can use one phrase or several as you are tapping through the points. A really good resource for this is The Tapping Solution with Nick Ortner. This has been a great practice for us in releasing heavy emotions and feelings. I also love just tapping in empowering statements on a regular basis to help lock those in during times of distress.
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Begin by closing your hands into a fist then raise your index and middle fingers straight up together.
The first point is on the side of the hand.
The second point is at the beginning of the eyebrow towards the nose.
The third point is at the side of the eyes.
The fourth point is on the cheeks two inches on either side of the nose.
The fifth point is below the nose and above the top lip.
The sixth point is below the bottom lip above the chin.
The seventh point is 1 inch below your clavicle/collarbone.
The eighth point is 3 inches below the armpit on the bra line.
The ninth point is the top of the head in the center.
You will begin tapping 3-4 x on the first point (hand) phrase: Even though I have this ______ in my body, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Then you continue to move through the rest of the points tapping about 7 times on each point whatever word you used in the blank spot. After you do the first-round notice what you are feeling or ask the person you are doing this with what they are feeling or noticing. If something else comes up, run through the same process again with the new feeling, word or thought. You may even notice a pain or tightness come up in the body. You can run through it using body sensations. Example: On the side of the hand; Even though my left knee is sore, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Next points: This pain in my left knee. Something else may open. When you are ready to replace everything that came up, you can start with: I feel completely at ease 1st point. 2nd point, feeling calm. 3rd point, easy breathing. 4th point, open to receiving. 5th point, feeling peace. 6th point, grounded. 7th point, clarity. 8th point, I am so grateful for feeling relief.
You can say whatever feels best.
Here are some examples of different phrases:
The hand tap first:
A. Even though I am feeling Angry, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
B. Even though I am feeling jealous, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
C. Even though I am feeling hurt, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
D. Even though I have this stress, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
E. Even though I have this anxiety, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
F. Even though I have this brain fog, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
G. Even though I have this (limitation)_________, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
H. Even though I have this extra weight, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
I. Even though I have this pian____________ in my body, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Now for the phrases/words to use as you work through the rest of the points. I will use the example for a limitation (Tap hand- Even though I drool, I deeply and completely love and accept myself).
2 point – This drool
3 point - Drool
4 point - Embarrassing
5 point – painful
6 point – this drooling
7point- judging
8 points – angry
9 point – All this drooling, letting go
Take a deep breath in and exhale then repeat the process 2-9. Make sure you or the person you are doing this for is breathing when tapping on each point. You will want to modify the language that best fits the appropriate challenge.
You can also tap positive and uplifting phrases especially if you want to solidify and induce those feelings.
Examples of positive and uplifting:
1. Tap the hand – I am feeling so good, I deeply and completely love and accept myself (3x)
2. point- Feeling so good
3. point- relaxed
4. point- strong
5. point – feeling grateful
6. point – grounded
7. point – creative
8. point – happy
9. point – Feeling so good and open to receiving.
Deep Breathing
Breathing deeply is so important for our wellbeing. This is our connection to Life Force. We learn to become grounded and present while moving through even the most difficult situations. We can also shift our energy when we are feeling triggered or activated. There are many different forms of breathing, and they all have great benefits. I am going to give the easiest one below.
Begin to practice by sitting or laying down.
Close your eyes, inhale through your nose for the count of 5 feeling your belly expand; Hold for the count 8, exhale through your mouth for the count of 10 feeling our belly sink in. I suggest doing 5- 10 rounds. 3 or more times per day. When we practice breathing in this way, it will soon become very natural and automatic which is helpful in triggering situations. The mind becomes clearer when we breathe deeply. Most people are breathing shallowly which makes it difficult to respond from a more empowered place. We can also optimize our health because this is so good for releasing stress and anxiety.
Heart Love exercise
I learned this technique from Marci Shimoff a few years ago. This is helpful for coming out of one’s head and down into the heart. This is great when feeling hurt, sad, grief, stressed, triggered, or activated. When we are in our hearts, oxytocin is released (the feel-good hormone) which helps us to feel calm, centered, and peaceful. This brings us back to our setpoint. Here we can access love and compassion on a deeper level.
1. Begin by putting your hand or hands over your heart, I like to close my eyes to connect more deeply however, it’s not a necessity.
2. Breathe in through your nose(slowly) filling your heart saying: Love, Ease, Compassion.
3. Exhale out through your mouth (slowly) repeating the same words. Repeat this about 5-10 x.
I have used these techniques on Logan and myself with a great success rate. When done regularly they help to promote calmness and better inner connection.